How love is the key to a partner's recovery from addictionCrack is a form of cocaine and is one of the most popular drugs amongst substance abusers, with an estimated six million people in the United States admitting to using it. There are both physical and behavioral signs that can indicate abuse. Often, crack users stop caring about their personal appearance or the cleanliness of their homes. You may notice his person looks unkempt and doesn't smell as clean as they normally do. Within the home, you may notice a build up of trash, dishes, and laundry.
He keeps me in mental anguish. But I love him. I just went through the same thing.
He lied all the time, stole things, even sold his phone several times…. I convinced myself he was telling the truth. When things were good, he had me and my son beaming. He and my kid were crazy about each other. And my kid was how I found the strength to tell him to leave…. He was never violent but he could be mean to me at times.
Before it was over, I found myself crying every weekend almost every other day. He was cold and distant. I felt lonelier being with him than I did being without him. It was like this dark, oppressive cloud was over our home and followed me wherever I went.
The day he left, he had my car for the day and I called to ask him to pick me up from the train after work. The guy he sold his phone to answered. No more denial. I caught a cab home, talked to my son about him leaving, had a girlfriend of mine watch him, and waited for my boyfriend to get home.
Dead silence the whole trip. When he got out he said thank you. He hit me up on Facebook a few times. I ignored him until today when I left him a voice recording saying I would always love him but we could never be together again.
I told him to love himself more by admitting he has a problem and getting help for it. I told him he deserved better than to be a drug addict and a thief and to bring pain to himself and the people he cares about. Addicts are human beings. As a human being, you cant help whi you love. Mine was my son…. In the meantime, in have a wonderful kid to raise and a soul that needs healing.
Thank you. Been with someone for 9 months after a 12 year marriage ended in my ex husband breaking my back in front of my son and then abandoning us. I knew he was a crack addict who had been clean for a few years when we met. He was looking for a job when we met and passed every drug test for 6 months, which was reassuring to me. I went with him to drug tests and interviews. He got hired a few months ago. He has done that… did it just today in fact. I was an addiction therapist for 9 years, and instead of being angry, I understand the disease, but never expected to deal with it in my personal life.
My ex-husband was a crack addict while we were married - and he got clean. Because I have that rocky past, I'm extremely wary of dating other addicts, period . As long as someone is in the midst of their addiction and not receiving help, a relationship with an addict is virtually impossible. After evaluating the pros and cons, the real question isn't whether you should date a recovering addict, but whether the person has the qualities.
Truly, I appreciate you using your story here. Maybe in that, there is room for him to acknowledge the need for help if this progresses further. Thanks for your story. I am currently separating from my husband of 18 years who I discovered has been a cocaine addict for the last two years.
We have 4 children, a lovely house and a business together and it has all gone now. I found out he was seeing an escort for 10 months, taking her with him on business trips, then a lapdancer for 10 months doing the same. He spent our hard earned savings on them and coke. It has been devastating.
You recover by understanding that the man you love is no longer behind the mask he wears. If he has a powerful addiction and is a sociopath. The problem is, with a crack cocaine addict, his or her addiction will get websites call date online for Monye I use my home boy Namber and. The thing about dating an addict is that no one can ever tell you when enough Crack has always been the “other woman” in our relationship.
He is now clean of the coke and alcohol for 3 months, and he is starting to realise what he did was horrendous but I cannot regain trust in him again. That makes him sad but he is facing the consequences fairly at least. And a warning to anyone using it for fun. It ruins people. Best of luck to you all. I believe God was showing me this tonight!
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and like others in here, I too did not find out about his addiction until later! He was first kiss when I was about We found each other again 25 years later, but I had no idea of what had been going on in his life.
When I found out I asked him and at first he denied it. But eventually he told me the truth after a circular of things happened during the process! I decided to stay with him because outside of the drug usage, he is a beautiful human being.
But for almost two years of our relationship, he has been to at least 4 or more rehabs. Against what everybody including his family told me to do, I stayed and endured a lot.
It has been painful because he goes thru the motions a lot with him in rehab and on drugs; therefore it takes a toll on me. He has never hit me, but he can be very mean at times. He also hold me to a very high standard. Anything I say frustrates him. I too have addictions that are very difficult to get rid of not drugs but other things in my life that are habit forming, so I thought Why judge him? He is in a rehab now, but I know how this goes because I can tell he is irritable now.
The bottom line is that I truly unselfishly love him and I believe I always will, but I also truly love myself and I want to be happy in a relationship without all of this. I was in a 15 year violent relationship and fled across country to live with my mum to try get my life back together.
Two years later I met my bf he was my savour and we started our happy life together. We moved in together and had our little girl now 3 and then a beautiful boy now 2. My bf was wonderful, a brilliant dad always had them laughing gave them everything a child could wish for. He made me feel so special. I was the happiest person in the world!! On the 8th June he dropped me and the kids off for a 5 day holiday while he went on a lads holiday!!
Five Signs You’re Dating Someone Who’s Not Good for You
He kissed me at the door and I told him have a wonderful time. He only contacted me a couple of times while he was away and the five day holiday turned to 2 weeks bearing in mind I only brought things for 5 days for me and the kids. He would FaceTime me and say he could see people that were definitely not there!! The surprise I got when we arrived has devistated my life!! He had nailed wood over the doors and locked himself In! He has been smoking crack now for the last month constantly!
His msg to me are of how much disgust he has for me and how I drove him to take crack!
He has left me and his children homeless we have nothing not even our clothes. Does anyone have any insight as to what to expect! Will he just disappear! Im actually reading this post thinking deeply about my previous relationship. We were together for about 2 years… He was a cocaine freak and one minute hes fine.
We were friends a year before hooking up. I know silly me. He seemed committed. Told me he would cherish me forever…. He would snort cocaine and was also a heavy drinker. While on coke he would be extra aggressive, forcing kisses, just being extremely uncontrollable.
He admitted he had a problem and needed to seek rehab about his addiction. I then searched online for multiple centers only for him to say he dont have a problem and I was his problem… He then leaves my home about on a Friday night and never returned. He did call to check on our son, but im asking where he is, what happened, how did we get to this point.
Its been a week…. I am so lost. I spoke to the new girlfriend…. He gets irritable and upset when he needs a fix. He punched holes in my walls… Picked up my sound bar and broke it into peices.i dated a drug addict: my story
Screams at the top of his lungs, hes also bleeding out his anus another health problem…. But why am i so worried…my home is now peaceful. My 5month old isnt nervous upon his dad screaming because of frustration. I am slowly adapting to this. Cocaine addicts snort you can tell if have runny nose, nose bleedsusing toilet a lot, up all night but sleep all day. Hyper at night an depressed during day. Addicts are normally depressed type people who not happy or been abused as a child.
They need something to take edge off sad feelings. But sadly the cocoaine only makes u happy for thirty mins then you become aggressive rude an even violent to loved one. One day at I time is all I have right now. Thanks for your replies. They always ask me if I want cash back with my debit card. Maybe I have a special one? Ah, yes, cash back Make sure you can use it like a "credit card", ie; without the pinthat way he can't get cash back. And of course he will see a problem with the whole idea, he's an addict.
This is where you must decide which fight is more important, his addiction or your suffering. If he's not willing to be uncomfortable, why should you be? Of course he could always check into rehab, then he would have no money. Well Larry today was payday. Took him to work and he gave me check and debit card to deposit and didn't ask me to get cash out. He has bills to pay and will be picking him up from work tonight. Going to talk about getting bills paid and will offer to do that for him in hopes of keeping debit card to do that for him.
Longer he doesn't have it the better. Didn't get to talk about changing pin number on this account. Which is a excellent Idea. Feeling hopeful. Travelin man. Posts: Joined: August 17, Hi Lorali, you wont much like what i am going to say - leave now, end the relationship- you are leaving yourself open to a whole world of pain- i am a recovering alcoholic and drug user- i was sober for some years, but developed an addiction to pain medication- i am sober today, thank god - but i cant tell you whether i will be sober tomorrow- thats the life you are going to end up leading- if he is late for something- you will think he is using- if he is sick you will wonder?
I don't know what I'm doing with this crack addict, he's a we'll payed individual with loving children but he lets me down all the time and I always go back, I love him so much and he is like my drug, I don't go out anymore cus I know soon as I turn my back he will go score, I lay in bed Lonley and wondering what he is doing if and when he is coming back I have no family and feel like I stay with him because he is the only one who loves me and I know he truly loves me however the feeling of everything being excellent then he doesnt come back hurts and hurts like hell I don't know whether to stay and put up for the love I sometimes receive or go.
Posts: 1 Joined: June 3, Mitch, This is an old thread, but I see you posted yesterday. I am the wife of a crack addict and we have been dealing with this for two years.
Reading your post put my right back in our bed, alone while he was running the streets with the woman he was using for drugs. I am sure that he does love you, in his twisted way. But he can't love you properly until he learns to love himself and deal with the problems that he has that are causing his addiction.
When we were married, he was clean and hid his addiction from me. You think you can reason with them. You can't.
You think you can show them what they are losing and how they are killing themselves. But they already know.
Dating a crack addict
I am attempting to make it work with my husband because we have children and he is now in rehab and working his own steps, but I have learned thru Nar-Anon that I need to live for me and let him make his own choices. And I am prepared to leave him if he cannot stay within the boundaries that I have set for myself.
The boundaries are not for him. You can't control him. They are for you, and if your addict cannot respect those boundaries, you need to make the choice that is right for you. You will learn that as you go on as well. And the sooner you realize that and start living for you and stop trying to save him, the better off you will both be. HE IS your drug and you do have an addiction that is just as serious as his and you need to let him fall and work on curing your own addiction.
I don't know the author of this, but it helped me immensely to let my husband fall and learn to fight his own battles and hit his bottom, because until he does that, you can forget about him getting better.
Fist of all you have to accept the fact that I think differently than you do.
I used to date a crack addict.. I met him through a friend of mine who he was in jail with and fell head over heels in love with him.. He got out. Crack is a form of cocaine and is one of the most popular drugs amongst substance abusers, with an estimated six million people in the United States. I dated this person and he lived with me 3 years ago. We recently What is the best successful treatment plan for a crack addict? Please help!.
These are people I have placed my trust and faith in because all they want from me is to succeed in my endeavor to stay clean for another day. You have you own goals for me like going to college, getting a job, getting married and finally having kids so you can have grandkids and can show all of your friends their pictures.
See these are your goals for me and not necessarily my goals for myself. Let me try to explain how I see things.
You think I use drugs but the reality is that the drugs use me. Drugs are for those of us that can't handle reality, and reality is for people like you that can't handle their drugs. I live in constant fear of letting you down; of not living up to your expectations. I put off doing things out of fear and you call me a procrastinator, but procrastination is just a 5 syllable word for fear.
Drugs make me feel alive and normal, but they also make me paranoid, incoherent and both destructive and pathetically and relentlessly self-destructive. Then I would do unconscionable things in order to feel normal and alive again. Drugs gave me wings and then slowly took away my sky. I looked to drugs for courage and they made me a coward. You say that I had always been a sensitive, perceptive, joyful and exceptionally bright child, but on drugs I became unrecognizable.
You should try looking in the mirror and not knowing the reflection looking back at you. I long for the day I am able to look in the mirror and be OK with the person I see looking back. When I first started getting high it was pleasurable for awhile; I had finally experienced nirvana, and then the euphoria wore off and I began to see the ugly side of my using and I experienced hell.
I found the higher the drugs got me the lower they brought me. After awhile I faced 2 choices, either I could suffer the pain of withdrawal or take more drugs. I guess the best way to describe withdrawal is insuperable depression and acute anxiety -- a drawn-out agony. You would think that after experiencing the emotional and physical pain of withdrawal that I would never let myself go through that again…right?
You may call that insanity…I call that life. I never thought of it that way but now I totally understand what it means…but still I use. But the slow suicide of my using is not painless in the least; I feel the pain and can see the flame of my life getting fainter every time I use. All those times you yelled at me for my using you gave me exactly what I needed to feed my addiction.
You thought you were doing it out of love but you were actually justifying to me what my mind had convinced me I was a long time ago. I look at myself as a failure; as a complete waste of space. When you yell and scream you just confirm to me that I am a failure and after awhile it becomes common place; not to mention expected.
You may be able to continue being in a relationship with an addict following treatment, however. During the treatment and recovery process, first and foremost the addiction element needs to be addressed, and then a couple may be able to move forward with how to rebuild the relationship itself.
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