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Dear Wendy: My Friend Lied to Me About Dating My Brother

letting my best friend date my girlfriend for a day...

New Here? Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here , peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. Thanks for visiting! Both of them lied to me about their relationship for an entire year, so needless to say, I was terribly hurt. Then, about two years ago, they went through a rather nasty break-up after five years together.

You want your home to be where you recharge not where you feel you need to defend yourself or tease out truth from lies. SpaceySteph June 13,pm. My best friend of 14 years and I fought over air conditioner temperatures for god sakes.

I get the sense you are allowing her to move in with you in an attempt to strengthen the relationship. More likely, it will do the exact opposite! Yep, my best friend of twelve years and I fought over the thermostat, too. SpyGlassez June 13,pm.

I personally think that it will wreck your friendship with her and — depending on the relationship between her and your brother — it may damage your relationship with him. Do you really want to hear about what a jerk your brother can be? It will be tricky to continue a close friendship with this girl at all until her relationship with your brother is more stable whether it works out or not. Oh, jeez…. Even if she was being judgmental, to hide it from her for a year is ridiculous.

Maybe a month or so to see if things are serious, but a year is just mean. I agree with justpeachy. However, I think Wendy is being too harsh. Maybe they felt awkward telling her? I doubt Wendy is being too harsh. Both her brother and her friend decided not to tell her.

Brooklyn June 13,pm. There are probably numerous layers to this. But then she said she stayed friends with the girl after the breakup with her brother, so I have no idea why they are making a big deal about not telling the LW.

Maybe the LW is overly dramatic and makes everything a bigger deal than it is? Also, generally friends and people in relationships spend a lot of time together. For the friend and brother to be together that long, both with legitimate reasons to see the LW, and for her not to know seems unrealistic.

It makes me think that they spend time together in front of the LW and possibly assumed she knew they were together. Landy June 13,pm. Thumbs up to that. MiMi June 13,pm. I agree! The friend and the brother are sketchy. Amy June 13,pm. And if she were really that nosy and suspicious — I would think she would have scoped out the relationship on her own over the course of a year.

TheOtherMe June 13,pm. To me, it simply indicates that this is not a real friendship. A few times. When Monica and Chandler keep their relationship secret from Ross for all of season 5! Diet Coke! I am too. I have a feeling we could all give much better advice if we had that piece of information. I think its crappy for a friend or a sibling for that matter to keep something like this from her for a year, but that also makes me wonder WHY they did that.

Is it weird my older brother is dating my ex best friend?

Like Wendy said… is she maybe judgemental? Expressed negative feelings about a possible relationship between them? BUT you also need to remember that if your brother gets back together with her and they get serious again and maybe decide to get married, you will likely see her again at family events, etc.

It works for relationships with everyone — significant others, family, co-workers. Yes it does. I use it at work a lot. I even use it when talking to my stepkids. Callifax June 13,pm. Yeeesh that advice seems a little harsh.

That's extremely weird! And frankly I don't find it to be acceptable what so ever. You're brother is not being a brother by dating her. You should. August 31st, was the first night I ever spent the night at my best friend Leslie's house. Although this date has gone down in history as just.

It sucks to be the only person in a circle of friends who is purposefully kept out of the loop — it hurts and is embarrassing. I think this girl should be cut a break….

MsMisery June 14,pm. I thought so, too. I doubt the friend and the brother kept the LW in the dark for altruistic reasons. LolaBeans June 13,pm. Yeah, its really weird to me that they kept it a secret from you the first time.

That either suggests that you can be judgmental or nosy, or they are super weird people.

Either way, not a good situation to legally sign yourself into. As someone who is very close to one of my brothers and his wife, it can be very difficult to navigate both of those relationships because they are sometimes at odds with one another.

Given that the friendship is already strained between the LW and this girl, and the LW is having a hard time separately her different roles as sister and as friend, she ought to really consider whether being roommates is the best decision.

It can cause harm to not only the friendship, but her relationship with her brother. SGMcG June 13,pm. LW, what business is it of yours who your brother chooses to get involved with? Are you honestly keeping track of his FWBs?!? You need to talk to your brother and establish rules about this sort of thing in the future. Also let him know that you are hurt that he would hide something from you like this, especially since it involved your friend.

As for what to do with the relationship with Meg now? There is damage in your friendship from the romance with your brother. Should this relationship continue or go down in flames is really none of your business at this point. The fact that you would also make her CHOOSE between a friendship with you or a romance with your brother is also pretty ugly of you.

So back away from the whole business and back away from her. Ok, wut?

My brother is dating my ex best friend

Then on the other hand you tell her to establish rules on who her brother is allowed to dally with so the LW feels comfortable? No one likes to have something hid from them. I agree that they probably were just scared to tell the LW, for whatever reason that may be.

Living with a good friend can be hard enough, but a good friend that you already have problems with? Not a good idea amigo. MissDre June 13,pm. Another thing… your brother and your friend were together for 5 years… 5 years is a long time!

Should I date my dead friend's brother? My roommate is my best friend. Her boyfriend, whom I was friends with passed away. I have a major. My good friend, “Meg,” and I were friends in high school and college, before .. If I moved in with my brother's ex-girl friend, he'd be pissed and. One reader is "disgusted" that her best friend has started dating her brother. Dr Petra Boynton, the Telegraph's sex and relationship agony aunt.

What was your relationship like with her during the 4 years that you knew about them being together? Also, you said they broke up 2 years ago and are just now thinking about getting back together. Just give them some space. Leave her alone, and let them come to you if they decide to.

Oh wow, I completely skipped the part where it said how long they had been together and the time that had passed. But in that case, just let them be and allow them to sort out their relationship without interference. I agree with you. How awesome would that be?

Your friend becoming your sister in law would be the coolest thing… when the family came over you could be sure to have at least one ally, this friend. Sarah June 13,pm. As someone who has dated two men who were close to their sisters one was much TOO close, but that is an entirely different story I can say that without a doubt both sisters were MASSIVELY too involved in the decision makings and personal details of my relationships.

Leaving for a date always involved the sister grilling me for details. Many times, the sister would come along uninvited. In one experience, after my relationship ended with the man, whose sister happened to have many of the same friends as I did, I discovered that all the intimate details of my relationship were hand delivered to all of my good friends.

My bf would confide in his nosy sister, and in turn she would gossip about it to our entire friend circle. They not only knew all the details, sexual and all, of my relationship with this man, but they knew weeks before I did that he was planning on dumping me.

I felt humiliated and betrayed, and my relationships with everyone involved has suffered. Maybe this is the reason why she does not want to confide in you. Have you every discussed their relationship in a negative light with mutual friends?

Do you frequently talk about things that are not your business?


If any of this is true, then how can you blame her for wanting to protect her privacy by keeping this relationship from you? Valerie June 13,pm. How has the LWs relationship been with her brother throughout this time? How was her relationship with her brother during the 5 years they were together? It was a lose-lose no matter what I did. That was one issue.


Then I had to consider splitting time spent between the two. Another thing to consider: you want to tell your best friend everything, right? Well, hearing about your romance with their brother is NOT something that perks up their ears.

If anything, it would leave them screaming in agony, begging for the gory details to worm their way out of their brain. You want to tell your boyfriend everything? Each has secrets they want you to keep from the other. You will still have to see that person anytime you wish to see your best friend and nothing good can come of this. In the end, the wear and tear of the extensive measures you take to ensure both are happy with you and happy with each other will begin to take its toll.

And how can you afford to lose the two people you care about the most? All of this can be avoided. Trust me: it will be worth it. Cover Image Credit: Pexels. Long Distance. At Syracuse University. At Eastern Michigan University. At Villanova University.

At Rowan University. At College of Charleston. At Mississippi State University. At Kennesaw State University.

At University of Dayton. At University of Oregon.

My brothers best friend broke up with me over text after spending four years with him. I Dated My Brother's Best Friend only To Have Him Break My . To The Ex -Boyfriend I'm Inevitably Going To Run Into This Summer. My brother recently broke up with A and started dating someone new, we'll call her B. Over the years I got very close to A and would consider her my best friend. Soon enough, Britney saw I was different than the others, and so did her older brother. Not long after this “judgement” period, I started dating my ex and soon.

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