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Matt Chandler - Selfishness and Dating - Streaming Ministry

Matt Chandler on Christian dating

Well, good evening. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and grab them. The elders of the church very graciously gave us some time off. The Lord has given us some tremendous opportunities outside of The Village to really do some significant things. What I think about the most, what I dream about the most, and what get my primary affection and my primary attention are the people of The Village Church.

I feel the weight of what God has asked me to proclaim to you for you.

You are constantly talking to you. No one talks to you more than you talk to you. See what I did there? All right? So you are constantly whispering things to yourself, speaking to yourself, and driving yourself in certain directions by what you say to yourself. I have to get up! Intuition is the loose thoughts of our minds and the feelings in our guts by which we make most of our decisions.

You look so young! When I was a young man, my dad smoked like a chimney. He would smoke and take a drink of a drink without taking the cigarette out of his mouth. I mean, he just was like a chimney, constantly going, but back then there was no warning label on the cigarette pack.

Cue up that PowerPoint. Because scientists figured out this could end badly. Do you know there used to be a smoking section on airplanes? Think about that. So now you have this. Proverbs is a spectacular book of the Bible. You can look for it yourself. In fact, if you flip over to chapter 16, just two chapters later, he says the same thing again.

Be careful. Now I would argue and there have been plenty of philosophers and theologians, whether secular or Christian, who would argue the same that we are all, by nature of being human beings, hedonists at our core. Hedonismjust by definition, means to pursue your own pleasure, so really, by your default and my default, the action of our lives, that thing in our guts, and the thoughts of our minds are leading us toward and driving us to what we believe is going to most satisfy us, give us the most pleasure, and give us the most life.

Every decision you make is leading you to that end.

Dating awakens desires, hopes, and a lot of confusion. Here are ten answers to some of the most common questions singles are asking. The Counterintuitive Life You could keel over right now in the middle counterintuitive my talk. I could! But more chandler. Matt Chandler on consumerism and dating. Excerpt from The Counterintuitive Life The Village Church.

There is no decision you have made that is contrary to that. We are driven toward fullness of life, toward happiness, and toward pleasure, and toward all of those things in ever-increasing amounts. Look at me. This is how to be happy. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end.

The cause of some going to war, and others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views.

The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves. So Pascal here is making a very bold statement. That means the thoughts of your mind and the feelings of your gut are leading you toward what you perceive and believe to be the route, the path, the roadway toward fullness of life, joy, happiness, and contentment.

My wife is not. She can just feel directions. Does anybody ever notice that sometimes will dump you into places that are incorrect? Has that happened to anybody else? So I have to rely on that, and just a few months ago, I was headed to this meeting down in Dallas. I get so turned around down here, all right? It just all looks the same to me. I go through here, down to the… All right?

I need chains of restaurants on corners, and I know how to get around. I get down here, and I just get confused. You know, I put 1 in, and then came up, the address I typed. Same address. It takes 12 minutes to get to it now, so now the map has changed its mind. I do not like being late. It wigs me out, all right? I just feel stressed. This is the way to fulfillment. This is the way to joy.

This is the way to happiness. I know some of you already… That inside of you is arguing. Now I want to show you this happening because intuition sounds right.

In marriage/dating, how much should both people's doctrine line up?

It feels right. It makes sense. Let me show you that happening here.

The Counterintuitive Life

Some say you are a prophet, others that you are a teacher, and some that you are a reincarnated prophet. They list, I believe, John the Baptist and Elijah, both of whom were dead at the time, all right? You are the Messiah! All right. Way to go, Peter. Jesus is blessing you. Then, directly after that, we pick up in verse Look at verse Come over here! This shall never happen to you. You nailed it! Blessed are you.

I am the Holy One of God. I am God in the flesh, sent to take away the sins of the world. Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? I saw you tell a storm to stop, and it listened to you.

How are these guys who you are constantly intellectually checkmating going to finally one-up you? It always gets to the point in the argument where they have to retreat, gather back up, and think of another question.

None of them did. I think I would have done the same thing if I were there. How are you going to lose to the bad guys here, Jesus? This will not happen to you! Surely this cannot happen to you!

This is just intuitive reasoning at its finest, and it fails Peter miserably, because watch how the kingdom works. Look at verse 23 with me really quickly. You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.

I want to kind of create two big buckets in order for us to define what it means to have the mind of man. The mind of man in its depravity can really be summed up with two ways it thinks, all right? The mind of man thinks only of itself.

It has a consumerist approach to life that gains what it wants when it wants it at the expense of reason and wisdom. It thinks only of itself, and it will use and abuse all of those around them to get exactly what it wants. Nobody thinks they think this way. Can I give you a couple of ways? I think one of the ways we see selfishness really take root is how we treat other people, and that can be everything from how you treat your waiter or waitress to how you treat other people you feel are below you, and how you treat other people at work.

Do you see other people as having souls, or do they exist for your gladness and the increase of your pleasure? Let me try to get you to like me and care for me so I can puff myself up at your expense. Now do they need to repent of that? Matt, this ends with me being by myself with a lot of cats!

Selfishness and dating matt chandler

For your own good, young woman of God, please listen to me. Listen, please! I mean, I watch young men do this all the time.

God help me, when I was a young man, I acted like this. And girls, stop it. Your loneliness now is monumentally better than your loneliness with a man in the house who has no intention of loving and serving you like Christ loved the church, no intention of pouring himself out for you and the lives and souls of your children.

Just wait. I mock them all the time.

You have to call them. You can help me help them by just calling them on it, man. What are your intentions? You know? Let me see what I can do here, all right? Jesus is enough. Trust him when he says that.

This is one of the ways being just about you plays itself out. It thinks only of today. It thinks only of itself, and it thinks only of today. Now if all you think about is today…look right at me…then you have no capacity for self-sacrifice. If today is all there is, the great virtue of laying down your life for something other than you becomes impossible because all you have is today. Now could you die tomorrow? You could die tonight.

You could keel over right now in the middle of my talk. I could! But more than likely, statistically speaking, most of us, looking around this room, have a couple more decades, a few more decades, or a lot more decades left on earth, and when all you think about is today, really, self-sacrifice becomes impossible.

The understanding of building toward tomorrow is missed on you, so you begin to lack discipline. You begin to lack a seriousness about preparing for tomorrow. You build up serious amounts of ridiculous debt. So you and I have a voice in our heads, and we have a feeling in our guts. He left nets, left his father, left the boat, and is following Jesus. Now we get to watch Jesus flip intuition on its head. A large video collection of classic hymns, contemporary Praise and Worship songs, and the works audio books, devotional readings, and sermons of men greatly used of God, such as: Charles Spurgeon, J Thru the Bible Radio.

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Matt Chandler - Selfishness and Dating"Your loneliness now is monumentally better than your loneliness with a man in the house who has no intention of loving. Matt Chandler - Selfishness and Dating. Matt Chandler on consumerism and dating. Excerpt from "The Counterintuitive Life". Posted by. Matt Chandler | May 26, .. I think one of the ways we see selfishness really take root is how we treat other people, and that can be everything from how you treat your waiter or waitress to how .. You shouldn't have let us date so soon!.

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